10:40 a.m. ... Caro's gran ... Godspeed ...

I feel disjointed, sad, heavy-hearted, deflated and insecure today.

Everything in the world that would make me feel disjointed, sad, heavy-hearted, deflated and insecure seems to be whirling about in my thoughts at the same time today. I wish I could ration them out throughout the week so I can at least feel like I can deal ...

I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to get through today: a full day at church, a full night at Camp Capio surrounded by people. Loud, screaming, laughing, unknowing people.

My only consolations this sad day: my Gaggle of Six, with whom I've had such a productive and interesting and eye-opening email-week ... C, who will kick my ass and make me laugh, even if I don't want to ... the shining sun and impending relative warmth ... Oswald Chambers' reminder that I am already saved and sanctified ...