RANDOM . . .

My brother is taking the MCAT next Saturday -- everyone think good thoughts for him, okay?

Why is the Secret Service called the Secret Service? I mean, they're EVERYWHERE, and they're not camouflaged. The President rolls into town, you KNOW which guys are the Secret Service agents. No other normal person walks around in a stuffy suit, looking unreasonably gruff, taking themselves SO seriously (ok, ok, I know they're protecting the President with their very lives), with an EARPIECE wired up. No one else ignores you when you speak to them, or shoves you out of the way when you get 'too close.' They are not the Secret Service. They are the Obvious Service. As Hooch suggests, they should wear hot-pink jumpsuits and tall Dr. Seuss Cat-in-the-Hat hats. The identifying decal on their government-issue sedans should be an enormous sticker depicting an eyeball, taking up half the front windshield. Scary-looking. And OBVIOUS.

Have I told you about lap taffy? It's apparently another term for male genitalia. And this confuses me. Taffy is pliable, soft, gets softer the more you play with it, and CHEWY. I thought men had a thing about teeth and their genitalia. Why liken it to something that is chewed until it disappears?

A medical student friend of mine told me last night that I don't need to take my daily multivitamin. When I told him that my B-complex made me feel better and less stressed, he told me it was all in my head. So I made him some decaf coffee and let him think it was regular. When he found out it was decaf, he said he couldn't stay up and study anymore. I told him it was all in his head.