SING IT WITH FEELING . . .

Yeah sure, family, church, friends all contributed to my development as a human being, but pop culture -- from the moment I got sucked into it with a vengeance -- has also always been there for me. Some formative tunes:

1. "Red, Red Wine" (UB40): Elementary school. A song about alcoholism. I was totally scandalized and intrigued. Taped it on my little pink radio and played it to myself to try to figure out what they were saying. Had to explain the song to my mother when she caught me listening to the song over and over and over. She was horrified.

2. "True Blue" (Madonna): Elementary/Middle school. My friends and I choreographed ourselves to it and rated each other. After a while, it became very difficult to come up with original moves. Moreover, did not understand the phrase "true blue." Maybe I'm too literal. Also, mother was horrified by Madonna.

3. "Love is a Battlefield" (Pat Benatar): Elementary/Middle school. Pat Benatar was and still is the undisputed hot mama. Loved the tough-gal leather and the bad-ass attitude. Didn't fully understand why love was a battlefield, though, and felt bad that Pat was suffering in the video.

4. "Land of Confusion" (Genesis): Elementary/Middle school. Scared witless by the video, with the ugly Reagan puppets. But, like any good horrific scene, I couldn't look away. Also enjoyed the social commentary that I did not fully comprehend. Not a really catchy tune though, what with the minor key, the syncopation and the ugly Reagan puppets. Ah, the budding Democrat in me . . .

5. "Never Say Goodbye" (Bon Jovi): Middle school. What heterosexual girl has not swooned to this song, hoping that the crush of her dreams would croon it to her? Yes, well, it was our 8th-grade anthem. We all hugged the wall during the middle school dance and sang it to ourselves. How pathetic.

6. "Papa Don't Preach" (Madonna): Middle school. Now I was scandalized. Attempted to use song as important discussion point with my parents. They were still horrified by Madonna and unwilling to discuss teen pregnancy with me. Wept at the end of the video when her father hugs her.

7. "Man in the Mirror" (M. Jackson): Middle school. First heard on radio, late at night after returning from watching one of the "Nightmare on Elm Street" movies. Thought the song would distract me from being scared, but it provided me with an image of a man in a mirror instead. Did not sleep that night. Thankfully, it later become a really well-rendered a cappella tune, compelling me to enjoy the song, its message, and yes, even Michael Jackson.

8. "Don't Dream It's Over" (Crowded House): Middle School. See "Never Say Goodbye." Also, I won the single at a friend's Bat Mitzvah. In LP format. Wow.

9. "Rhythm Nation" (J. Jackson): High school. I am becoming socially conscious, and so am able to appreciate the lyrics. Besides, what is there to not love about Janet? Also, LOVED the dance moves in the video and spent hours emulating them, until I realized that it just wasn't cool for me to be doing that by myself, in sweats, in my parents' basement.

10. "With or Without You" (U2): High school. Again scared witless by the stark, bare video, and the imagery evoked by implied stalking, waiting on a bed of nails, thorns twisting in the side, tied hands, bruised body, giving yourself away. Only recently have I come to acknowledge and enjoy this tune as a love song. I think.

11. "More Than Words" (Extreme): High school. We were all scandalized by the title of the album, "Pornograffiti." Wow. More importantly, this was my audition song for my high school a cappella group. It went over very well. I sang it with feeling. And most importantly, I inscribed the complete lyrics into my best friend's yearbook his senior year, in order to convey to him my (totally platonic) feelings of love and friendship most honestly.

12. "Eternal Flame" (The Bangles): High school. I know this song is totally 80s, but it was only significant for me in high school. One of those cheesy romantic anthem kind of things. My friend B and I wore out our cassette singles. Then we bought the CDs, back when they were still, like, $30 apiece. But then we didn't have CD players, so we had to wait until our birthdays for those. What a fiasco. The song lives on in our hearts.

13. "Shadows of the Night" (Pat Benatar): High school. My a cappella group's crowning moment of glory at the winter concert, after an up-and-down semester filled with personal traumas and dramas, intense competition with the co-ed group, and constant shifting of parts and harmonies to get it just right. This was the epitome of a group of talented women working together and producing sweet, sweet music. If I do say so myself.

14. "Verdi Cries" (10,000 Maniacs): High school. My senior year solo with my a cappella group. I was terrified. I didn't even know the song when we first began rehearsing it. Of course, it came together. Of course, people were astonished that I could sing, having been only background vocals for the entire year. Of course, I had to be wearing an ugly dress while singing it. Of course, I felt too shy to take a bow afterwards. But I will always love the song. It's MY song.

15. "Linger" (The Cranberries): College. This song is only notable for how much I hated it, and hate it still.

16. "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems" (Notorious B.I.G.): Post-college. A bunch of white and Asian upper-middle-class, elite-university graduates come together to be paralegals at the Manhattan D.A.'s Office. We go to 25-cent buffalo wings and 50-cent Budweiser once a week at Down the Hatch, on 4th Street. We pull this song up on the jukebox and pretend we can groove to it. For an entire year. It was pathetically awesome.

17. "Bye, Bye, Bye" (N*Sync): Post-college. You might ask about a 20-something's fascination with N*Sync. Hey, I was loud and proud about it then, and I am proud about it now. And the dance moves were ever so fun to imitate, even in the halls of the distinguished Manhattan D.A.'s Office . . .

18. "Bohemian Rhapsody" (Queen): Law school. Still carrying baggage about this song (the co-ed group in high school -- our arch-enemy -- had sung a ravishing version of it), I was part of the cast that transformed it into a spoof of our daily law school lives, for the 2000 Legal Follies. The lyrics were zinging, the dance steps were prancing, we could barely get through it for laughing so hard, and the audience gave us a standing ovation. High school, be gone!

19. "What's Going On" (to benefit 9/11 Fund and AIDS Charities): 2001. September 11th. Enough said.

20. "Lose Yourself" (Eminem): 2002. I think Eminem is a jerk. I think he shouldn't be making as much money as he is. I think he curses too much. I think it's sad that he hates his mother. I think that everytime this song comes on the radio, I will pump it up, sing along, bounce around in my car, and envision myself a rapper. Humans are so strange sometimes. And I suppose if you clean it up a bit, the message is pretty nice. Did I just say NICE?

21: "Your Body is a Wonderland" (J. Mayer): 2002. See cheesy romantic anthem. But please, who isn't going to melt at "I'll never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it"?!?! I would choose this as my wedding song, waaaaaaay down the path into the future, but my guests might be scandalized. The ones who understand English, anyway.

22. "Crazy in Love" (B. Knowles w/Jay-Z): 2003. I'm ambivalent about both Beyonce and Jay-Z, although I admire B. for her ability to be herself in her anorexic industry, and J. for his catchy rap/hip-hop tunes (he also hooks up with Missy quite spectacularly in "Back in the Day"). But the girl can sing, and this tune is as catchy as they come. It is my "Lose Yourself" for Spring, 2003. Check it out . . .