THIS IS BULLSHIT . . .

Hooch and I just received CNN Breaking News Alerts in our Lotus mailboxes: "Al Qaeda militants behead U.S. hostage Paul Johnson."

WHAT THE FUCK!?

We both feel like we've been punched in the gut with a boxing glove the relative size of Missouri.

We've received CNN Breaking News Alerts before. We've been horrified before. So maybe it's because we just ate lunch ... but this time, we are sick to our stomachs. I feel like I'm going to puke, and not just because I'm imagining people chopping off the head of another human being. After all, news accounts of Nicholas Berg's beheading detail the screaming that came from Mr. Berg's mouth during almost the entire time it took for the al Qaeda militants to SAW OFF HIS HEAD -- painful, wretched screaming that continued until Mr. Berg's vocal chords were finally and mercifully slashed all the way through. No, I don't get sick to my stomach about mere things like that anymore -- blood and guts and pain doesn't scare me anymore. No, my stomach is roiling at the absolute inhumanity that exists in this utterly fucked-up world.

I don't care about your politics. I don't care if you're a militant Islamist or a fundamentalist Christian or a pot-smoking hippie wanna-be or a white-supremacist anarchist. I don't care if you hate my country and want to destroy me. I don't care if you think Allah is going to reward you for your bullshit. I don't care if you think God is going to reward America for this bullshit war.

All I care is that I'm sick of it. I am SICK OF YOU thinking that beheading another human being gets you into heaven. I am SICK OF YOU thinking that killing someone makes you a hero. I am SICK OF PEOPLE dying in this war for no fucking reason anymore. I am SICK OF BUSH waxing poetic about citizens -- CIVILANS -- giving up their lives for this nation. I am SICK OF PEOPLE thinking that war and killing people and CHOPPING OFF SOMEONE'S HEAD FOR FUCKING CRYING OUT LOUD gets anything accomplished.

THIS IS BULLSHIT. I'm sick of it.

I think I'm going to throw up.