TIT FOR TAT . . .

We are a selfish people. Well, all people are selfish, and I think those who profess to be unselfish are selfish (and elitist) about being unselfish. But there seems to be something distinctly American (and it doesn't matter what nationality you hyphen onto the "American") about having an "I won't do this for you unless you do that for me" mentality.

New York-based Fellowship of Reconciliation has created the Iraq Photo Project, recruiting everyday American citizens to pose for photographs and include messages of peace, reconciliation, friendship and even apology to the Iraqi people. Some messages written so far include "We are sorry for the pain Iraqis suffer because of war," "Please Forgive Our Government," and "We Have Not Forgotten the People of Iraq." The Project sounds nice in theory to me, but of course there are those who are dissatisfied, asking why the Project wasn't asking Muslims around the world to apologize and seek reconciliation for the crimes and beheadings committed against Americans in Iraq.

Well, true, true ... and the Project director has expressed hope that Muslims around the world would be encouraged to condemn violence in their countries. And there is some difficulty in condemning the actions of one's government, but still feeling the need to support the troops who are fighting in your place. But that's not the point.

Why is it so difficult for us, we Americans specifically, to just do something good for the sake of doing something good? Why must every good deed of ours be reciprocated? Are we really so heartless, so mercenary, so incapable of altruism and generosity that we can't just offer an olive branch or a dollar or a smile or a service without expecting -- nay, demanding -- something in return? What is WRONG with us?

I see it everywhere around me in small scale, even among my friends and acquaintances. He won't apologize unless she apologizes first. She won't contribute any more of her precious time because no one tells her they appreciate her efforts. He won't bring food to the party because no one brought food to his party. She won't offer any of her expertise in a situation because no one strokes her ego or recognizes her wisdom loudly enough to satisfy her self-esteem. Multiply this petty selfishness by billions of dollars and international war and weapons of mass destruction (which apparently do not exist), and American selfishness just oozes out of our pores, threatening to eliminate all traces of humanity we have left.

Just give. What is the big f*cking deal? Who cares what you get back? This world is so much bigger than you and me and the things we can comprehend and demand. Just give.