IF I WERE PRESIDENT . . .

I would make sure every American had affordable health care. I would make sure that cancer, AIDS, diabetes, MS, Alzheimer's, rheumatoid arthritis, whatever-other-disease-in-existence research was fully funded and the researchers supported 100%. I would make sure every school-age child had the opportunity to GO to school and be FED and LEARN. I would make sure that their teachers were well-educated, well-trained, not former felons, caring, loving, adventurous human beings. I would do a Habitat for Humanity project every free moment I had to achieve the goal of zero homelessness. I would give everyone who was able to work a job. I would send every high school graduate or GED achiever to college. I would send everyone who wanted to attend to graduate school. I would campaign to have everyone of working ability volunteer a portion of their time to the service of their community. I would build shelters, homes, schools, transit centers, public parks, libraries, concert halls, museums. I would send a book every two weeks to every household in the country and make sure everyone read them. I would sit down and talk with every world leader, and invite them over for a kalbi barbecue. I would not be beholden to Israel, but I would not step on Korea, or bully Britain, or invade some country just because I didn't like its leader or its major religion or because I wanted their oil. I would preserve nature and live a life of conservation. I would talk the talk and walk the walk against discrimination. I would uphold the Constitution and ensure that justice WAS for all. I would surround myself with smart people capable of and willing to tell me things I might not like to hear because it would be good for the country. I would do ... I would WANT to do ... so, so, so, SO darn much.

And I sure as hell would do everything in my power to make sure MY PEOPLE STOP GETTING BEHEADED BY TERRORIST ANIMALS.