UNPRECEDENTED! . . .

They did it. They did the unthinkable. It has never happened before in the history of NHF. But the run has ended, and they finally did it. They threw a successful surprise party.

And I was the big sucker at the receiving end of it! ARGH!

PIcture me thus ....

... I am having a normal Saturday. Well, mostly normal. I sleep in late after an evening of faux-debauchery with my parents. As I'm stepping out of the shower -- literally, just stepping out of the shower, my doorbell rings. Omma is passing through the neighborhood and decided she wanted to check out my latest furniture additions. She proceeds to plop herself on my sofa and watch The Golf Channel. I continue to get ready for a busy afternoon of running errands and attending a baby's first birthday party.

... I head to Bloomingdale's and return $196 worth of pantyhose. Unworn leftovers from Banana's wedding. Don't ask. The saleswoman looks at the stack of unopened pantyhose packages. Looks at me. Looks at the pantyhose. Looks at me. "Was there a problem with these?" she asks. "No," I reply plainly and succinctly. She looks at me. I look back and smile. Hey, the return policy dictates merely that the pantyhose be unopened.

... I desperately need a cup of coffee and am quickly starting to feel the effects of withdrawal (scary -- caffeine is a drug), but I'm already late for the par-tay, and I have no idea how to get there. Thankfully, my pals have come through for me, so I slowly navigate my way to the correct set of condominiums. The baby is cute, the food is good, and the hostess serves coffee! Hallelujah!

... At the close of the party, JKA states that she's going to the mall. Facing a quiet evening alone, waiting for Ha and Dr.Y to return to me from Boston, who am I to say no? I just have to be home by 9:00pm. We head out into the fog, and JKA suggests that we stop by my place first so that I can leave my car and we can travel in one vehicle. Feeling extremely sleepy and lazy, who am I to say no? We spend a leisurely evening at the mall, and decide to finally leave to grab a bite to eat. I am so thankful, for I am hungry and thirsty and nearing grumpiness. We hit the highway and we pass the first possible exit that would lead me towards home or food. We continue on the highway and pass the next possible exit that would lead me towards home or food. This horrendous pattern continues for about three more exits, before I realize we are nowhere near my house or food. And JKA shows no signs of stopping.

... I am now utterly confused. And hungry. And thirsty. Sadly, I am so easily distracted that I am vastly entertained by JKA's extensive trove of stories. Heck, even her normally taciturn husband is chattering away at me from the back seat and keeping me entertained as well. Between chuckles, however, I continue to look out the passenger side window to wonder "where the HECK is she taking me?" My attempts at obtaining an answer to this question are met with "so then, my MOM was telling me ...." Who am I to say no to a good story?

... We finally pull onto Camp Capio's street. My normally wily mind, now numbed by caloric deprivation, finally starts to think "Oh. Maybe J2 and Camp Capio are doing something for me. A nice, quiet dinner would be nice. How nice." That, and "FINALLY I GET TO EAT SOMETHING." Imagine my absolute shock when our climb up Camp Capio's driveway culminates in a massive gathering of all the cars of almost all my friends from NHF. WHAT THE!!!!!

... My first statement upon getting out of the car: "Take me home. I don't want to go in there." For I am instantly embarrassed. And my embarrassment deepens upon entry into Camp Capio, for there they all are, part of the only successful surprise party in my short memory at NHF.

And the best part?

THEY ARE ALL IN COSTUME. And good ones, at that! We've got The Man in the Yellow Hat with his son dressed as Curious George. We've got a monk ... wearing a humongous Afro that jiggled as he walked. We've got a Chef and a Bloody Doctor with their baby, a French cow (only because she wore a beret). We've got Austin Powers and Felicity Shagwell with their twins, the mini-pirate and a little red devil. We've got a set of M & M's, and a karate master, accompanied by Friday the 13th's Jason and a Care Bear who looks more like a pink piglet. And Halloween just wouldn't be complete without a cheerful orange pumpkin, nicely filled out by Nan's lightly-pregnant belly.

And then there was me. After I picked my jaw off the floor, blinked away my tears, let my blush subside and sipped my first birthday drink (for which they purchased the most enormous bottle of Grey Goose I have ever seen in my life, they put me into my costume.