IN MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION . . .

This morning, I woke at the butt-crack of dawn -- no, for real -- to make the not-so-long trek to Hackeysack, New Joisey for my first visit to the Beyond Day Spa at the Hackeysack Medical Center. Side note: M informed us that all the maternity ward patients' gowns, and possibly all the gowns for all the patients in the hospital, were formerly designed by Cynthia Rowley, and are currently designed by Nicole Miller. And indeed, it is a lovely medical center. Back on track ... I give Beyond Day Spa a resounding B+.

I did not totally enjoy:
- that I had to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to get there, though admittedly, we called to make appointments on Thursday, and thus had to be fit into their already packed schedule. But when you're in desperate need, a first-thing-in-the-morning massage doesn't sound too damn bad.
- that it's in Hackeysack. I mean, Soy is there, so it can't be all that bad, but it's just kind of far. Of course, when you're driving with JKA, everything is within thirty minutes, rain or shine, so perhaps this is not really a valid factor.
- the food selection, and I know JKA had something to say about that too. Last time we went on a group spa outing, she took the entire tray of cookies from the food cart, set it on her lap, and proceeded to eat the cookies, one by one. Hey, she was hungry. Now, I'm all for healthy food, but honestly, when it comes to that weird trail mix, I just pick out the dried fruit. Birdseed is too hard to chew, and it's just not that tasty if it's not lightly salted.
- the fact that it was FREEZING COLD throughout the spa. I put on my robe, see below, and sat inside the dry sauna just to warm up before my massage. And then the massage room was cold! Brisk, one might say. And then my masseuse's hands were cold! Icy, one might say. They warmed up later, but that first touch was painful, I tell you ...

I did totally enjoy:
- the really kind staff, from the front desk, to the locker room hostess, to the therapists. Non-fake but broad smiles, non-threatening and non-snooty body language, clear instructions and suggestions. It was just a very pleasant experience to interact with them.
- the dry sauna. Ok, I know I was a total dork and sat in there with my long, floor-length robe on, but I was cold! See above. Still, it was nice and smelled good.
- the hot towels laid on me during my massage. Oh MAN, that was nice. They made me downright snore! (I was also congested, so that might have had something to do with it, in addition to the fact that I had to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn.)
- the showers. I do believe this was the best spa shower I have ever stepped foot in. No mildew, no dampness, no water stains. It would appear that someone swoops into the shower stall / towelling area after each woman showers and wipes down the entire room -- awesome! I know, I know ... it's just a shower, but who doesn't love a hot shower after a wonderfully relaxing massage? I almost fell asleep standing up ...
- the ROBES. Oh, my good Lord, the robes ... heavy, thick terry-lined, luxuriously satiny cotton on the outside, floor-length, wraps allllll the way around your body. Oh man, it was nice. The best robe ever. Seriously.

AND they redeem your parking ticket.

If you're in the area, try it out. Prices are comparable to and very very slightly lower than New York City rates, but the staff and facilities are far nicer than your average NYC day spa. Ask for Erin for a cold-hands-that-become-warm deep tissue massage ...

And now, I eagerly await my next massage outing ... I mean, they SAY it's good to receive regular massages to maintain optimal health. Who am I to disagree?