WHAT IT IS . . .

The worst thing about Ivana is not even that she dropped her skirt and showed her undies for twenty dollars to try to win. I really don't think that's the worst thing about her, although it reaches the furthest depths of stupidity and bad business sense, as well as pathetic desperation.

The worst thing about her is that she has no leadership qualities. Even the one instance of seeing her in an Apprentice Boardroom setting evidences her greatest flaws. Her body language, her verbal language, her defensive stance -- everything about her bespeaks immaturity and lack of wisdom and the ability to examine herself. In fact, I'd venture to say that Ivana has never looked at herself deeply to discover what her strengths and weaknesses are; she doesn't know herself well enough to act her age and to behave as a businessperson should.

Why in the world would you roll your eyes at the person who can make or break you? For that matter, why in the world would you roll your eyes at anyone? I have been in situations where I have witnessed people allegedly in leadership positions rolling their eyes at others. It doesn't even matter at whom they were rolling their eyes, whether the recipient of the rude and immature gesture was an older and wiser being, or a younger and more immature being. The fact remains that to roll your eyes at someone is a gesture of the utmost lack of respect. It's just out and out dismissal, a slap in the face, and it makes the other person feel like crap. Lord knows, I have mentally beaten myself up so many times after rolling my eyes at someone. It's a wonder to me that people continue to do it, especially people who should know better, and to see Ivana do it on television to the three people who can keep her going in the game just burns me up inside.

Why in the world would you treat a boss or even a colleague in a tough business setting as you would treat one of your high school friends? Save the casual dramatics. Save the tossing up of the hands and flipping of your head. Save the petty snipes and personal attacks on people who aren't even there to defend themselves. I see people around me do these things all the time. EVERYthing is a big horrible drama. EVERYthing merits an hour of complaining about the allegedly faulty actions of another. EVERYthing deserves a heavy sigh, or a sullen drop back into one's seat. EVERYthing gets a moment of the thought "why me; why do I have to deal with this bullsh*t?" For God's sakes, GROW UP.

Why in the world would you say, or even think "I'm smarter than s/he is"?!?!? How do you know? Smarter about what? And what does it matter anyway, who is smarter, if ultimately you are going to behave like an imbecile and dig your own professional grave by your childish actions? How dare your ego be so big as to think that you deserve to say or think something like that? It's a hard lesson we all have to learn, and a lesson I resisted learning for many, many years. But it's true: there is or will always be someone smarter, prettier, more intelligent, more friendly, nicer, more compassionate, more capable, more handsome, better at your common task than you. Always. Ivana just doesn't know that yet. Sigh. Poor vacant Ivana.

And to be utterly superficial for a moment: Ivana had that annoying pursed lip thing going on, as if to physically demonstrate "I'm a business woman. I'm a professional. I'm going to purse my lips because it makes me look hard and serious and capable." As if. Pinched face = pinched heart, my mom always said. Ain't that the truth ...

The other thought that I couldn't get out of my mind throughout tonight's "The Apprentice 2" ... if I had to work in the Mars/M&M factory, I think I'd puke my brains out. I'm not averse to a little nibble of sweetness now and again, but to be immersed in it and surrounded by it? OH GAG ME. The L.O.L.'s will recall The Trip To Hershey Land and the great sugar-induced headache that followed me throughout the tour. Multiply that by a factory, and you've got me, lying on the floor unconscious, overcome by noxious chocolate fumes. GAG. BLEH.

Another thought I had ... that Jen girl, the blond lawyer formerly of Team Apex is a robot. Really.

***

SO ANNOYED . . .

I just discovered some major holes in one of my favorite long-sleeve t-shirts. What the?!?!? What is the point of those fancy lavender-cedar closet planks and the charcoal humidity-and-odor-reducer baggies from The Container Store, a/k/a God's Gift to Type-A Personalities Everywhere, if something is going to freakin' eat through my favorite shirts?! And ew of ew's, what if this THING keeps eating my clothing? Where IS it? ACK!

***

HELP ME . . .

No matter how late I get home in the evening, no matter how tired I am, I always manage to prepare myself a homemade, healthy and well-balanced dinner, usually created entirely from scratch or the freshest ingredients.

Not tonight. Oh no. Tonight was Hamburger Helper night. The three-cheese Hamburger Helper.

I haven't had Hamburger Helper since my poverty-stricken days as a law student. Oh man, it was so, so, so good.