SCHNOTS . . .

I have been sick for two weeks now. ICK.

You know when your nose runs so much and you blow it so much that your nostrils get all hard and crusty and sensitive, and you feel like they are covered in concrete and are three times their normal size? You know when only one nostril is operative, so you tilt your head to one side so that the other one clears up, but then the first operative nostril clogs up, so you end up having to mouth-breathe? You know when you can't fall asleep because every tickle in your nose and throat catapults you into paroxysms of coughing that make you feel like you're going to vomit? You know when you feel like such a loser and a pariah because you carry around a stash of wadded up tissues, itching your eyes, wiping your concrete nostrils, sucking on cough drops while breathing through your mouth which is completely dry and so your breath is probably disgusting too?

Yeah, I hate that.

***

STILL NOT FOUND . . .

So I finally watched the "Lost" finale. Consider me lost too.

1. Why Walt? I knew as soon as Rousseau said "they said they wanted the boy" that The Others wanted WALT and not the baby. But why Walt? Because he's black? That would be so wrong. Because of the polar bear in his comic book that came alive on the island? Because he knows about the hatch without knowing about the hatch? And where is he going anyway? Are we ever going to see him again? Is he a ritual sacrifice that the island demands every time someone crash lands there? Or is he going to come back and be all zombie and stupid-like, like Claire was after she came back from being kidnapped by Tom Cruise's cousin?

2. Is Sawyer dead? He better not be, because he's pretty hot, and I like that bad-boy-needs-glasses-to-read thing he's got going on.

3. Is Jin dead? He better not be, because we all need more Korean-American men on television ... okay, we need one Korean-American man on television ... and dang it, he was just learning to speak English (better than he can speak Korean, I hope).

4. Could Shannon be more annoying? (Answer: no. But at least she was kind enough to give Sayid a hug yesterday after he and Charlie rescued the baby.)

5. Why, oh why, did Charlie take the Virgin Mary heroin? WHY??!?!?!? How dismaying. I am ever-so-sad at his apparent return to the drugs. Very bad. Very very bad.

6. What was up with the cranking noise as Locke was being pulled away by the Thing We Do Not See? That was more frightening than anything else in the episode: the impenetrable-ness of that noise, the grinding of it, the strength of it, the loudness of it. Is it a man or a machine? I don't know! And naturally, the not knowing is scarier than anything else.

7. What is up with Locke seeing the Thing We Do Not See, and apparently not being afraid of it until the very last moment? Is the Thing We Do Not See akin to Jack-Jack in "The Incredibles," who appears to be a cute little baby, but then turns into all sorts of horrific things when necessary? Maybe it appeared to Locke as some sort of Jesus figure -- you know, since he was healed of his paralysis and all -- but then at the last second, as it neared Locke, it morphed into something evil and terrifying (I have so many issues with that if that is indeed the case)? And what is up with Locke wanting to be sucked into the ground because he'll "be alright"? Whatever. I don't ever want to be sucked into the ground, not for anything.

8. What is up with Hurley almost being killed by the dynamite? No, no, no. Don't get rid of Hurley. Do not even put him in the line of danger, because he's one of the best things this show has got going for it (aside from hot Sawyer, natch). But I definitely got the heebs when, near the end of episode, he walked down the aisle of the doomed plane, made eye contact with Walt-the-snatched, winked and gave a thumbs-up. Those two are connected and they know something I don't know and I don't like that.

9. What's the deal with the black smoke that arises from a fire that was created without leaving any footprints or tracks, and that vaporizes into itself and zips around the jungle with a primal scream? Freaky.

10. Why do I have to wait three months to see another new episode of "Lost"? I do not approve of this thing known as 'the summer hiatus.' My only hope is that ABC will air reruns, starting from the beginning, so that I can record and watch them all and debrief them thoroughly with whoever is willing to talk about the show with me.