THANKFULNESS . . .

This year, in particular, I am thankful for my friends.

I really thought about this a lot yesterday. Sitting in a cafe near Columbia, looking out at the familiar sights and even the familiar-looking people strolling by on the sidewalk, I was totally transported back in time to the days when some of my most key friendships were forming. Ha, the C.o.S., Janey, Wonger, Yang, Snoozy. We see each other as often as we can and it's still never enough, but there are ties that bind sisterhood together. Even those with whom I don't keep in touch anymore: the fact of our having drifted apart over the years doesn't lessen the impact that they had in my life, the lessons they taught me, the way they were used of God to grow me and teach me and mold me.

It occurred to me more strongly yesterday than ever, that no friendship is possible without God. I can think that any friendship, any relationship, I am a part of is because of common interests, compatible temperaments, mutually enjoyable personalities. And yes, partly friendships are all of these things, and all of these things are also God-given and Christ-grown. But without God, without Him actually being the center of each relationship, without Him being the filter through which all things are spoken and done and given and received, without Him being the one to winnow out all the potential pitfalls between people and replace it all with grace, there is no such thing as friendship. And I don't just speak of my friendships with other Christians. Some of the people dearest to my heart are non-believers. But this does not mean that I don't view and love them -- always at least try to view and love them -- with God's heart and vision. Any kindness, good time, point of laughter, deep sharing, commonality that I try to achieve on my own is weak, easily faltering, sometimes misunderstood, occasionally rejected. Any of these things that pass through Him, I can fall back upon trust that He is growing the friendship and sustaining it in the fullness of Him.

I am by no means a perfect friend to my friends. I become easily distracted and busy, and forget to send an email or return a phone call or mail off that letter that was written weeks ago. I write post-it notes to myself to ask someone about something, then lose the post-it note. I am inadvertently hurtful, idiotically thick-headed, often ignorant, unintentionally insensitive, unnecessarily busy, stupidly outspoken, inopportunely silent. But even through all my shortcomings, my friends stick by me, and His grace covers all of us, drawing us closer to each other in spite of me and who and how I am.

For all of these things, for all of you -- Flacon, J2, the Noodle Family, Hooch, the Aliens, my L.O.Ls, my sister, Soybean et al., the Gs, my beloveds on the Wrong Coast, Banana and DYC, JC, Kwon, NHF PT, and my bestest and most unconditionally loving friends of all, Omma, Appa and Cheech -- today, I am thankful.