OPEN SOUL . . .

The Unlimited Mood asks: what do you do to keep your soul open?

I've actually been thinking about the soul a lot lately. How my soul is doing. How I am affecting the souls of others. Am I keeping mine healthy? Am I contributing to the health of the souls around me?

Lately, some things have happened where I was confronted with the reality that I hurt somebody, tired him, withheld from him all the care and grace that he constantly gives to me. We talked about how we are to feed each other's souls, and to trust each other. In trusting each other, an ultimately in trusting Christ, our souls would be at rest, and would not tire each other, would not hurt each other for no reason.

That hurts my soul, to know that I hurt someone else's. I wish I could fix his, and thus, have mine healed as well.

But back to the original question ...

I look up at the sky a lot. There is so much up there I can see; even more that I can't. When I look up, there is no limit, and my mind is not allowed to close, my imagination is not allowed to wither, my hope is not allowed to fade. And there is just something about gazing into the sky -- whether it be sky blue, or dotted with clouds, or blindingly sunny, or drizzlingly grey -- that does not let my heart, my soul, sink. I can't help but be uplifted.

I make a lot of noise. Sometimes I sing. Sometimes I hum. Sometimes I whistle an unidentifiable tune (largely because I cannot whistle well enough to actually carry a tune). Sometimes I just moan a little bit to relax myself. Sometimes I snort, or guffaw, or cough, or imitate the noises I hear around me -- the beeping of the alarm at Borders, the locking alarm of Boboma's car, the milk foamer at Starbucks, the odd and varied sounds emanating from Bob. Making noise releases things in me, and at the same time, somehow, allows me to soak in the happenings about me.

I make Boboma talk to me. When he stops, thinking he's talking too much, I make him keep going. Once in a while, there are people who just make all your brain synapses fire all at once, your heart's chambers expand to capacity, your IQ level increase just by listening and having every corner of your mind tapped for energy and response. The things I have learned, the things I have come to know, the things in me that have emerged ...

I watch people and things. If I'm not driving, I spend my time in the car watching the cars and people passing by. I watch people in the grocery store, the book store, the coffee shop, the sidewalk. I watch the kids playing pee-wee baseball in the park across the street. I watch the dog sniffing along the grass for ... for what, exactly? I watch folks walking by, or loitering on the corner. I watch traffic patterns, cyclists, and even the occasional inline skater. I imagine what their lives are like, and inevitably my thoughts are led to the quality of my own life, and how I can strive to live it better, with more passion and more conviction and more faith.

I think a lot. I think a lot about how to feed my soul, how to ingest God and enjoy Him. And of course, always, I think a lot about how I hurt people, wound their souls, and what I can do to fix that hurt. Sometimes I am so paralyzed by cowardice, fear, and of course, pride. But often times, the more I think, the less the paralysis has a grip on me, and my soul is allowed its honesty, to face head-on another soul and to reach out to it in the way that I need to. It takes more time in some cases than in others ... but I know that my soul will close when I stop thinking.

I read a lot. I listen to a lot of music. I go to the museum a lot. I watch interesting movies. I am striving to never let weaken that part in me that can be touched, moved, stirred, aroused, deflated, excited, enlivened, impassioned. That indescribable part in all of us that lies so deep within us that words can never suffice. Could it be ... my soul?

And you, now? What do you do to keep your soul open?