THINGS I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT . . .

Okay, so you know how when some women give birth vaginally (how dumb am I that typing the word "vaginally" and knowing that who-knows-how-many-people are going to read it makes me blush and giggle?!), they tear in their perineum area? (And if you don't know what the perineum is ... well, you're just going to have to look it up for yourself because I'm sort of at the limit of my blushing here.) When I first learned of this phenomenon, I thought several things: "That sucks." "Ooh, that's gotta smart." "I hope that doesn't happen to me." "I bet that will happen to me." "The possibility of lifelong incontinence? The horror!" "Sucks to be the person having to sew THAT up."

But just now -- thank you EVER so much, Mabel -- I learned that women can also tear THE OTHER WAY.

Yes, I said THE OTHER WAY.

As in, NOT towards the back. As in, towards the front. Or more accurately, towards the TOP.

THAT REALLY REALLY REALLY SUCKS AND MUST SMART AN AWFUL LOT.

And of course, now I can't stop thinking about it, and how awful that must be, and the lifelong repercussions of such a tear, etc. etc. etc. It's only a matter of time before I go to Google ...