HEARD OVER THE CUBICLE WALL . . .

1. A woman whose voice sounds exactly like Laura from the most recent season of "Project Runway." Every time she talks, I wig out.

2. "... I live in NEW YORK, you dumbass ..."

3. "... Jack Bauer ..."

4. "... genital warts ..."

5. "... no, you hang up. No, YOU. No, I love YOU. No, YOU hang up ..."

6. "... what should I get me for my birthday? ..."

***

IT'S NOT JUST ME . . .

I was at Starbucks today picking up my latest addiction, the Soy Chai Latte. The lady in front of me clarified her order to the new cashier who had not heard her correctly the first time around. He had to recalculate, using his brain and not the cash register. And so while the lady in front of me stood waiting with her palm held out for the additional change due to her, the new cashier stood facing her, not saying a word. His mouth hung open. He stared without blinking at the cash register. His arms hung slack at his sides. Seconds, nay minutes? ticked by.

And isn't it terrible that all I could think was, "Look, he can't do math either."

***

SLUMBER PARTY . . .

I'm sleeping over in Canada tonight, hanging with the G-Units so Dr.G can give me a flu shot in the morning. Is that not the most efficient way to obtain a flu shot? To drive 40 minutes north of one's home, spend the night at a friend's home, sleep in in the morning, then drive even more north to Dr.G's office? Eh, whatever. It's fun here in Canada. (And of course I'm going to hear it from Mrs.G that I brought my laptop and am lying in her guest bedroom using her free wireless access. Nerd.)