YOU ARE INVITED . . .

To my pity party. For these are the things I want to shout today:

"IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU! SOMETIMES IT'S ABOUT ME TOO!"
"I NEED SYMPATHY!"
"WHY DON'T YOU NEED ME? OR ANYONE, FOR THAT MATTER?"
"WHY IS MY MAIL DISAPPEARING?"
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME?"
"I NEED A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP!"

In the place of shouting, and the pity party (which is not that thrilling), I express myself in words. Thanks to TinyCricket and whoever else these questions belong to ...

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
The big picture: Living a full life, with a full God, in the fullness of all He's given to me.
The little picture: Good rest; tasty food; B time; being reminded that I am loved; a thrilling book.

What is your greatest fear?
Being alone.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Bags and Apple products.

What is your greatest regret?
Always, always: not thinking before acting.

When and where were you happiest?
At the Eagle Scout lodge (1991); Schapiro12 (1995-96); Nyack State Park & Beach (2005); playing nurse in February (2006).

Where would you like to live?
Manhattan, or anywhere within its reach.

Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to pick up a guitar and play it like I know what's what.

What is your current state of mind?
Confused; exhausted; hopeful in a discouraged sort of way; sad; wishful.

What do you consider your most overrated virtue?
Organization. If they could only see the cluttered state of my inner self, I'd be exposed for the type-A fraud that I am.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would love to be slow to anger, slow to jump to conclusions, slow to be pessimistic. (I have to say in my defense, though -- I used to think being judgmental was a totally horrible, unfair characteristic to have. But as I get older, I think I'm starting to see that being judgING is a good thing. To have beliefs, standards, boundaries. Yes, I must be judicious and kind in how I judge me and those around me. But this judging is not an entirely bad thing. Anger, incorrect assumptions and pessimism, though ... yeah, I'd love to get rid of those, or at least convert them into something useful.)

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
I would love for my family to realize that their happiness and joy does not depend on me being married. Otherwise, they're all pretty great; I'd keep them just as they are.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I haven't achieved it yet.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"You know ..." and "I feel like ..."

On what occasion do you lie?
When I'm desperate to protect myself or someone I love.

What is your most treasured possession?
The cross around my neck; Bob and his family; my 12-year-old Bible and all my journals; my books.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Having God turn His face away.

What is your most marked characteristic?
I multi-task. A lot.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Thoughfulness towards and about everything and everyone. Faithfulness. Fearlessness in standing up for his beliefs and for what is right. Humility supported by strength. Also, a nice smell.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Confidence in her uniqueness. Warmth. Intelligence. Unrestrained laughter.

What do you most value in your friends?
The ability to trust myself in them, and to have them trust themselves in me.

Who are your favorite writers?
Jane Austen; C.S. Lewis; Annie Dillard; David McCullough.

Who is your favorite hero(ine) of fiction?
Atticus Finch, from To Kill a Mockingbird; Elizabeth Bennett, from Pride and Prejudice; Anne Shirley, from Anne of Green Gables.

Who are your heroes in real life?
My father.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Who or what is the greatest love of your life?
Jesus Christ, and ... hee.

Which living person do you most admire?
My father.

Which living person do you most despise?
Kim Jong-Il.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Selfish, closed, inwardly-turned eyes and heart. This seems to be the root of everything else deplorable, doesn't it?

What is it that you most dislike?
Rudeness, exacerbated by an unawareness of that rudeness or an unwillingness to care to remove the rudeness.

How would you like to die?
Having lived a life of honour, integrity and joy.

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
Well, now, you know I don't believe in things like that. But if there were such a thing, I think I would like to come back as ... well, me again.

What is your motto?
"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." (Ps. 31:24)