ALWAYS REMEMBERING . . .

Columbine, 8 years ago.

***

THEY SPEAK . . .

The shooter's family has offered a statement of sorrow, mourning, confusion and pain.

I am so thankful for this article. I am so thankful that people are able to realize that the shooter's family is also in some sort of immeasurable, unforgettable pain. I am so thankful for their understanding. I'm thankful that this family is being protected.

I wonder if they were part of a church community. The Korean church community in Virginia is enormous. I hope they have a community of faith to turn to, I hope they are being embraced and loved and cared for by this community, I hope they are not being shunned in the way that Koreans are so good at doing sometimes, unfortunately.

***

STILL ANONYMOUS . . .

I went outside by myself for the first time this week, today. I know, it sounds like such a weird thing to say, but sometime in the middle of the week, I became very afraid of being seen, of having people know that I was Korean-American, of being hated for it.

I returned to the place I called home for six years, the Upper West Side. Surrounded by the Columbia community, I felt wonderfully anonymous, wrapped in world-awareness, openness (of the best variety), intelligence, acceptance. I suppose that's what a university environment is all about -- the free and intelligent exchange of selves. I'm so grateful for what Columbia was to me over a decade ago, and what it remains to me now.

No one looked at me twice; no one spit at me; no one said anything insulting to me; no one noticed me. It was great. I am so silly sometimes, so over-sensitized, I suppose. That doesn't stop me from being thankful that when I can't fully be me, others -- strangers, even -- can affirm who I am anyway.