PROMISES . . .

If and when God ever blesses me with a child of my own, I will never use him or her as an excuse:

* to only talk about him or her
* to not pay attention
* to not feed my own soul -- whether alone with God, with other believers, or at church on Sundays
* to not pay more attention to myself or my spouse
* to "be out of it"
* to be late
* to feel and act superior to others, more knowledgeable, more experienced, simply better
* to make others feel inferior, lacking, less complete as a person
* to not be aware of what is going on around me, near or far
* to shirk my responsibilities and duties
* to interrupt conversations with or care of friends
* to not pull my fair share of hard work and manual labour
* to leave people out
* to close myself in
* for anything which I cannot stand by on my own

Others might be tempted to say to me, "You'll know when you're a parent" or "You say that now, but ..." or "Who are you to judge me using my children as an excuse in any of the above manners?" But they would be wrong to (1) assume that they actually do know better, (2) predict that I'll reverse myself, or (3) claim that I'm not in a position to observe and resolve to be different. For one thing, my position of observation is as yet objective and definitely on the outside; it's a better perspective from out here, and for sure, in learning what TO do as a future parent, I'm also certainly learning what NOT to do. And for another thing, and more importantly, my greatest role models -- my parents -- managed to avoid the above pitfalls, grow in their faiths, pull their own weight, be generous with time and heart and money, strengthen their friendships and nurture people around them no matter their status or lack thereof. If they can do it, so can I.