FATIGUE . . .

Could I have had any worse sleep last night? I figured a long day, only one cup of coffee early in the morning, a 2-mile run, a light dinner, and a mellow Thursday night with friends would have chilled me out enough so that I could drift into a comfortable sleep. But I should've known better.

I haven't had a comfortable sleep in about a month. I don't know why. There have been no undue stresses in my life, no illness (aside from The Boob), no sudden increase in caffeine intake. There has been plenty of water-drinking, exercise, getting fresh air, running around like an idiot. But I just haven't had good rest.

The only thing I can point to is this strange feeling of "something icky is going to happen" that I've had for most of the year. It wakes me up at night -- eight times last night. It gives me nightmares -- two yesterday. It makes me look over my shoulder constantly. It makes me take my vitamins and drink more water. It makes me . . . tense and emotional. I've been bawling like a baby every four hours. To top it all off, last night I get home from Thursday night meeting, check my email and find out that PK, our beloved former pastor, had a minor stroke -- his second, I hear? -- and is recovering. That means that this week, at one point, three people beloved to me were lying in a hospital bed. Two are still there. UGH. I knew August sucked for a reason.

But tonight I'm having steak with three of my favorite partners in crime, and I'm buying. I like feeding people even if I didn't make the food. Tomorrow, I'm getting a massage and browsing the Union Square Greenmarket and taking advantage of tax-free week in New York City. Tomorrow afternoon, I"m kibbutzing with church ladies at yet another bridal shower -- sexy lingerie that you can't imagine the bride wearing is always funny. Sunday evening, I'm headed to Joisey for a few hours of rock n' roll. Monday, I'm chilling out with my buds and catching my breath for the start of the "new" year. So, I shall try to shake off the weepiness and the down-pull of the mouth and head into a new season with joy, because despite everything, I know I -- and we -- have much to be thankful for . . .

***
Hold onto your seats, I'm actually on time today with the Friday Five:

1. Are you going to school this year? No, but I wish I was. I'd love to go back for a PhD in something totally random but fun: Asian-American Literature; Spanish; British Literature from the 19th Century . . . or even a -- gasp! -- LLM in Criminal Law. Nerd.

2. If yes, where are you going (high school, college, etc.)? If no, when did you graduate? I graduated law school in 2001. Man, those were the days.

3. What are/were your favorite school subjects? High school: Spanish, English and Russian. College: Korean Foreign Politics, Advanced Korean. Law school: Federal Civil Litigation, Federal Criminal Justice, Advanced Readings in Criminal Procedure. Nerd.

4. What are/were your least favorite school subjects? Math. All math. Always math. And physics. Because it involved math. (Although I'm strangely proficient at calculus and differential equations. Probably because there are fewer numbers and more letters involved.)

5. Have you ever had a favorite teacher? Why was he/she a favorite? High school: my Spanish and Russian teachers b/c they taught with such passion and flair, and did fun things, and hung out with us outside of class. College: SAM. Always Sam. Because he was old, Korean, distinguished, aloof, knowledgeable, and had the funniest Sam-isms. Law school: my Crim-Pro professor because he was liberal to the max and I loved to piss him off by being less liberal (therefore, ultra-conservative in his eyes), and he gave me an A+. Nerd.