ICKY, ICKY, ICKY . . .

Things I need to do but don't want to do today:

1. Finish up the draft of a large decision I'm working on: The case has been around longer than smallpox and is as much -- if not more -- of a pain in the arse. It's not that it's difficult per se. I'm just not motivated enough to even open it up on my computer this morning and LOOK at it.

2. Revise my resume and cover letter and start sending out job applications: I am notoriously bad at selling myself. I'm even worse at it when my confidence is flagging because I'm convinced I'm not knowledgeable or smart enough for the position, when there are really only four places I want to work after my clerkship and all four positions are super-competitive, and when I'm sleepy. Also, I think I'm absolutely unwilling to relocate out of the metro-NYC area, but as I have no job offer yet, we'll revisit that issue if and when it actually becomes an issue.

3. Work out: I'm just tired. Took a Thai cooking class last night (with C because he and Mrs.G ambushed me, but I had a knife in my hands almost the entire evening, so C behaved) and got home at midnight. Slept a fitful sleep, dreaming of mixing red curry paste, waking up constantly to go to the bathroom or to untangle myself from the blanket, falling out of bed this morning (which I haven't done in several weeks). Morning coffee isn't kicking in AND I think I'm carbed out from yesterday evening's noodle-and-rice fest. I don't anticipate that I'll be raring to hop on the treadmill or lift any weights after work this evening, but if I don't I will feel like ass. Days like this, I wonder: would an amphetamine addiction really be that bad for me? Oh, I know the answer, but I wonder nonetheless.

4. Clean my room: In the last couple of weeks, my normally over-meticulous ways have given in to the stronger, more evil and enticing pull of sheer laziness. The piles of belongings arranged around my bedroom -- clothes, papers, articles I pulled out of magazines, magazines, books, bills, clean and folded laundry, miscellany -- are neat, but I've never even had piles before! I am chagrined. This is not me. Where have I gone? I should just put the piles into the closet and forget they exist.

Alright. Looking at this wretched List O'Whining has actually made me determined to at least do ONE thing on it. I suppose the right thing to do would be to get to work . . . off I go. Wish me luck.

Note: Thanks to all who gave input on The Great Laptop Search of 2003. In the spirit of the NHF Polling System, here are the results: Apple = 2; Dell = .5 (only because the half-hearted voter owns stock in Dell); IBM = 1; Hewlett-Packard = 1. I'm still researching and mulling and unreasonably agonizing, so keep your opinions rolling in . . .