DEBAUCHERY . . .

I haven't been this debauched since . . . law school? Not even this year's rash of weddings has brought out the monster in me that has lain latent since . . . law school? I haven't nicotined myself up this much since . . . law school? (What the hell is it about law school that creates such animals?! Eh, don't answer that . . .)

Yesterday evening after church, C and I headed out to the swamps of Joisey for Bruce -- his last night in Joisey (maybe the last concert of his tour? I don't know, I'm not a huge fan. I don't follow his every breath like some people do.) C's friend C (oh, this could get confusing) and C's friend C's friend K joined us, and we drifted into the parking lot of Giants Stadium for a small tail-gate fest.

I've never tail-gated before. Not at football games, not at concerts. It was the coolest thing! Some folks went all out -- tables, awnings, chairs, grills, coolers packed with side dishes and beer. Others went minimalist -- buckets of KFC and cans of soda and beer. Still others upgraded -- wooden salad bowls with matching salad tongs, bottles of wine with real wine glasses, silver utensils. Us, we had delicious sandwiches, chips, fruit, beer and some liquor. Scrumptious!! Everyone just hanging out with their trunks open, Bruce blasting in the background, kids running around, people eating and just feeling generous (thank you Cigarette Lady and Advil Man) and ready to have a good time -- I can only describe it as groovy. Or as groovy as the swamps of Joisey get.

(Side note: I forgot to turn my tractor beam off. I went on high alert when the car across from ours produced children playing with the little velcro balls and a football. I kept a wary eye on the football -- the corners tend to do more damage than a regular rounded ball -- and watched as it bounced a perilously close 3 feet away from our portable picnic table. But then, mid-sandwich-bite, one of the velcro tennis balls landed 3 inches from my face, in our bag of grapes. Sheesh! Close call!)

I'm not a huge fan of Bruce. I mean, we all know "Born in the U.S.A.," "Dancing in the Dark," "The Rising," etc. but I certainly don't keep up with his songs or albums. And maybe the beer helped, but still -- it was really fun to be surrounded by people who were obviously die-hard groupies. People who knew ALL the lyrics to ALL his songs, people who would get up and dance or sway to even the slow ones, people who would be willing to go absolutely hoarse chanting "Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuce" at the top of their lungs. And I have to respect a guy who can put on a good show for three straight hours and keep even a non-fan like me on my feet for most of the night.

***

C asked his friend C to drive back to home base in Fort Lee . . . the friend C is worse at driving manual than I am. I don't feel so bad anymore. After being cursed out by some not-so-generous Joiseyans, they switched and I hopped back in the front seat with the butt-warmer. I LOVE that butt-warmer.

***

Afterwards, we traipsed around Fort Lee, trying to find a Korean place that was open so we could eat. For some reason, I was STARVING -- maybe it was the nicotine revving my metabolism. Ha, ha, ha. We ended up in Manhattan's K-town, slurping sul-long-tang at 2 in the morning. BLEH. I thought I was ready for Round Two, but as soon as I got back in the car, I faded. We dropped C and K back off in Joisey and headed home.

"Entertain me!" C insisted, in an effort to stay awake. I don't even remember what we chatted about. Something about never falling asleep in front of C because then he will do bad things to you. I consider myself warned.

***

There's nothing grosser than looking at the clock at 3:40 in the morning and thinking "I'm still awake. I'm dirty, I'm only just sobering up, I have nasty stale cigarette breath, my hair has been wind-blown beyond recognition, and I just ate a full meal. I don't have the energy to brush my teeth or wash my face. I might just fall into bed as is. Disgusting." It was totally gross.

But I managed to clean myself up and get into bed just fine, not waking up until 11:30 this morning. Ahhh, debauchery. I feel like a lady of leisure who badly needs to take a shower and feed herself. I feel only marginally better knowing that C got home safe and is on his way to M (who might come home soon!!!!) and that friends are waiting for me to join them for tax-free shopping (hey, don't laugh -- it's raining and we're lazy) . . . if they only knew . . . well, now they will . . .

So hats off to C, C's friend C, and K, and of course Bruce and the lovely waiters at Kam-Mi-Ok, for a lovely evening/night/morning. We'll have to do this again sometime, with some ground rules:
1. No more cigarettes. There's a reason I stopped. I'm remembering that reason every time I swallow, open my mouth, or cough right now. EW.
2. No more cheap beer. Or at least, more water. Or more sul-long-tang.
3. No more letting C's friend C drive manual when I'm in the car. I don't like going backwards when I'm not supposed to.
4. More sleep. I could crawl back into bed and drift off for another nine hours . . . but tax-free shopping beckons. Even I have standards!