TOSSIN' AND TURNIN' . . .

Another night of bad, bad sleep. I had three separate nightmares.

One, I can't remember, which is more disturbing to me than the ones I can recall in the morning. Fear of the unknown and all that.

The second revolved around recent upheavals at work -- not so much of a nightmare as one of those everything-is-grey-and-quiet-and-you-never-know-what's-around-the-corner-but-you-know-it-ain't-good dreams. Leaves me with a burdened heart and a crick in my neck.

The third is kind of funny in hindsight. Context: some gentlemen at NHF are planning to run a mini-triathalon-ish Adventure Race on Sunday; there is some drama about whether or not they are actually going to attend. It's been the main topic of conversation for a couple of weeks now, and it must have taken up residence in one of the brain cells in my subconscious. Last night, I dreamt that I was a team-member for a triathalon-ish Adventure Race, but the Race was messed up!!! There was no mountain biking or kayaking, thank goodness, but the running portion had to be done on surfaces similar to the people-movers found in airports. One lane moved quickly, the other lane was for walkers, but they were stuck right next to each other, so if you stepped accidentally on a lane different from the one on which you were running or walking, you'd be propelled forwards or backwards and made to fall on your face or rear. Stressful.

And then, we had to stop running/walking in order to perform certain tasks with our team -- put a puzzle together, climb a set of stairs, jump over some obstacles, etc. Of course, I end up on the team with four guys who can't stand each other and spend the entire time sniping at each other like little girls. I think I ran some stairs in order to avoid them. I don't recall the rest -- I think I forced myself to wake up so I wouldn't have to complete the Adventure Race.

Regardless, I woke with a severe headache and the realization that I had probably been clenching my jaw all night. Even now, chewing on my dry Honey-Nut Cheerios, I can feel my gums pulse and become more inflamed. My neck aches. And my boob still hurts! Goopy ultrasound, here I come . . .

Eh, at least it's autumnal and I can break out the warm and cuddly clothing . . .

***

SLEEPIFIED . . .

As exhausted as I am some nights, I just can't sleep. So I converse with my friends. For as long as I can remember, I've had the best, funniest, most feeling-est, most honest, saddest, most hilarious conversations with friends at night. Usually late at night, and usually when I and/or my friend are truly tired. This works particularly well with friends who stay up as late as I do, or with friends in different time zones.

Of course, the morning after is one big blur, but what's a body to do?

***

I LOVE COLD RAIN . . .

I love it when it rains, in general. I really love it when it rains and it's kind of cool -- not humid and oppressive, and not totally freezing either. I love it when it rains really hard and I can stare out the window at the sheets of water falling from the sky -- from where does it all come? I love it when I'm inside, snuggled up in an oversized sweater and stretchy yoga pants, listening to the pounding of big fat raindrops plopping on my roof. I love driving in the car and being mesmerized by the swish of the windshield wipers. I love sitting in a dark room, no lights on, gazing at the gray outdoors and realizing that there are different shades of gray.

But I would love it even more if I were back in college and I could cut class and lie in bed all morning, staring out my window and being thankful that I'm warm and dry, and being glad that the world around me is being washed clean.