PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT . . .

Here are my steak rankings in the NYC area so far (I intend to expand my steak repertoire in leaps and bounds, so stay tuned):

5. Smith & Wollensky: my first steak experience. Went with 5 other women, and being the only 6 women in the restaurant that evening (I do not exaggerate), we got lots of attention. THAT was interesting. The steak and wine were tasty, but we really didn't know any better. Good asparagus, though ... the one thing I remember eating from that night seven (oh my God, has it been seven years already, L.O.L.'s?!?!) years ago ...

4. Cite: one of the times I was there, we sampled the wine-tasting menu, and got a nice buzz going. That alone made it worthwhile, although I was eating mac n' cheese for weeks afterwards in an attempt to no further bruise my battered wallet. Frankly, I can't remember the steak, so it can't have been too amazing. And the smooth, quiet, over-50 crowd and the REALLY nice cloth napkins made me nervous.

3. Angelo & Maxie's: nice atmosphere -- big airy room, cool ceiling, neat French doors that open out onto 52nd Street. Nice bartenders and friendly hostesses (I hate the snooty I-know-your-shoes-aren't-Prada-so-why-are-you-eating-here kind). But the waiters were goofy and clumsy (dude, you just got meat juice in our creamed spinach). And the steaks were just slabs of meat and nothing special. I was THIS CLOSE to asking for A-1 sauce. That should NEVER have to be done for a quality steak. Unless you're my dad, who I think would put A-1 on every piece of American-style meat he could. Our medium-rare came out medium/medium-well and very tendon-y. Annoying. I'm still flossing tendon out from between my teeth. On the other hand, dessert and coffee were scrumptious, even for someone who doesn't like sweets. And the ladies' room is fully stocked. LOVE IT.

2. Peter Luger: the adorable elderly waiters MAKE the atmosphere here. Of course, I was also in good company, had a nice Black Russian buzz going, and was accompanied by a steak connoisseur, so that all helped. And the night I went with C, AW and Soy, we ladies really packed it away. C didn't know whether to laugh or cry at how much we ingested. And the sauce ... there's just something about that sauce. I could just drink it straight out of the bottle. Good dessert. But, too damn hard to get to. And cash only. You have to plan weeks in advance to go here -- I'd rather plan a trip to a spa and get a massage to wash all the meat toxins out of my body. Of course, if someone's going to DRIVE me there, who am I to say no?

1. Ruth's Chris: I officially love love love it here. I could go every week and feel zero remorse for my wallet OR my arteries. And the gold standard: my picky parents loved it here too. It must be the butter. And when I took my parents, it must have been the two bottles of wine they downed, practically by themselves (Rosemount Australian Shiraz -- good for loosening up the parents; not so good for reducing drunken Korean noise volume). The bartenders are cute, the waitstaff is super-nice, and it's just 15 minutes from my house! What is not to love?!

I shall sleep soundly tonight, with visions of porterhouses dancing through my dreams ...