TRAIN OF THOUGHT . . .

I have to see two movies coming out this fall/winter: "Gothika" and "Love, Actually." "Gothika" I have to see because it will gratuitously freak me out and make me tiptoe around my house at night in case a spooky intruder spots me. Also, Robert Downey, Jr. costars in the film, and despite his pathetic drug abuse history, I adore him. "Love, Actually" must be viewed because it is chock-full of British actors and English accents. Pass the scones and ring me on the telly, I'm swooning already!

***

I still feel lonely. I don't really know what to do about it. I mean, there are things I can do about it, but I don't necessarily want to or feel equipped to implement those steps right now. Actually, I think it's more an expression of my innate resistance to change occurring around me. Most, if not all, of my friends are now married; half of these folks are expanding their families, which is great for cuddling and play purposes, but not so great for boosting-the-ego purposes. So, in that context, I feel a bit ... left or lagging behind. I am often reminded of all that I am, all that I have, and that my friends love me. I know all of this, and I am not ungrateful. But as always, the negative is easier to focus on than the positive, especially when I'm the odd man out, sitting with all my coupled friends around the table ...

And now "Friends" is psychic. Snippet of conversation from the first five minutes of the opening:

Phoebe: "So now, you can have my black book with the names of all the guys I've gone out with."
Rachel: "Oh, no, that's ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girl friends?"
Phoebe: "I would, but you're the last one!"

SIGH. I feel you, Rach.

***

Shrub signed the Partial Birth Abortion Ban into law the other day. What an absolute jackass he is, for so many reasons. But what I found most -- dare I say -- amusing about the hubbub surrounding the law was the reaction of the medical community. Aside from keeping the health of the mothers as their primary concern, the most loudly heard expression from that community was this: the law is not written in medical terminology; "partial-birth abortion" is NOT a medical term. So there are now doctors and medical service providers all over the country who remain confused as to the parameters of the law, what they may and may not do. Thus, they vow to continue to uphold their oath and work on maintaining the mother's health. Isn't that just terrible, Shrubby? Doesn't it just make you NOT able to sleep at night? Good.

***

Love is very weird.

***

I am love love loving NPR lately. Please tune in and please give generously. You don't have to be Joan B. Kroc about it.

***

My investing plans must be put on hold. I need cash. I am buying my own home. This is madness. I have to say ... my excitement at the prospect of being out on my own is slowly but surely being tempered by the realization that (1) I am going to have to really read all the fine print; (2) I am going to have to qualify for a mortgage loan; (3) I am going to have to apply for said mortgage loan; (4) I am going to have to negotiate with the owner; (5) I am going to have to hire an attorney ... stinkin' lawyers ...; (6) I am going to spend the next Lord-knows-how-many years of my life paying for the damn place. (But of course, I am still excited, and am scouting around for the best values in furniture!) Thank goodness for Hooch, who recently went through this melee herself, and C, who loves to give gratuitous (but wise) advice, as well as bad decorating tips.

***

One thing that makes me sad about having to hoard cash for the next few months is that I can't indulge my family, my friends and their babies. I had wanted to start a small tradition of taking random friends out for steaks ... that will have to wait, I think. I had wanted to send Omma and Gran to L.A. to see my aunt and uncle, but maybe it's better they wait till the smoke clears anyway. I had wanted to start spoiling all the little babies in my life -- the Noodles, the Alien, the Melon, Snoozy's Boys, Abby and Froggy, my sassy cousins -- but I think they'll all just have to settle for sweet smoochies from me this year instead. I had wanted to buy my favorite books for my friends, but perhaps I'll just recommend they visit their local library instead (and give generously!). I had wanted to take a sun-filled mini-vacation in December, but I'll have to stay tense and pale-white until I see the sun again next year. So, I promise you all, once I'm in, once I'm settled, once I'm up and going, you will all come over and I will make you a tasty dinner. Complete with bundt cakes and soft toys for the anklebiters.