A TIME TO GENTRIFY . . .

Columbia Bagels, West Side Market, UFM, Cannon's ... all gone.

Sigh.

Now I'm left with only memories of crunchy-on-the-outside-hot-and-soft-on-the-inside bagels overflowing with scallion cream cheese and a cup of faux hot chocolate at 3:30 in the morning after a night of clubbing ... discovering hummus with toasted pita chips ... the best $1.00 ice coffee in the neighborhood to go with the best $1.00 potato knish in the neighborhood ... nasty cheap buffalo wings and nasty cheap beer ...

Sigh.

These kids now, the new Lion cublets, they don't know how good it once was. Cleanliness, shiny lights, dry floors, chrome countertops, Gotham-fonted signs. That's so cliche and boring. Who needs an Oren's Daily Roast when you could have gotten suspect-but-sludgy coffee from Grandma's? Who needs chic-chic gourmet fat-free ice cream when you could have gotten creamy and thick and fat-filled gelato from Sedutto's? Who needs a spic-n-span Morton Williams University Supermarket when you could have taken your life into your own hands and assumed the risk of slipping on all manner of random food products and have been randomly yelled at by the manager at UFM?

Dang. They totally don't know how good it once was.