YOU KNOW YOU'RE CONFUSED WHEN . . .

You hear two days ago, the United States government, in response to the beheaders in Iraq, emphatically, categorically denying that it held any Iraqi female prisoners to be released in exchange for our kidnapped civilians.

Then you hear today, the United States government released a well-known Iraqi female prisoner it was holding.

Color me perplexed as all hell.

***

YOU KNOW YOU'RE KOREAN WHEN . . .

You dream about playing golf.

Sigh.

It looks like I'm about to carry on the esteemed family legacy. It's in the blood, baby!

***

YOU KNOW IT'S A HECK OF TRIAL WHEN . . .

You can make a Mr. Potato Head doll look exactly like one of the attorneys involved.

***

YOU KNOW IT'S BEEN A HELLUVA MONTH WHEN . . .

All you crave right now is a pack of Marlboro Lights, a short tumbler of Black Russian with Grey Goose, and a big fat margarita on the rocks, with salt. And that's IT.