POST-CHRISTMAS RANDOMIZER . . .

The best part about working out consistently is that I see results. My posture is straighter. My stomach is flatter. I feel stronger. My shirts and sweaters hang more nicely. My back pain is gone.

The not-so-great part is that my pants don't fit anymore. And I can't afford to buy new ones or get my current ones tailored. Thus, I cinch them with a belt and walk around looking like some clown who couldn't find a job with a proper circus. That, and the fact that I still can't sleep at night.

***

I am feeling so, so, so nauseous right now. I can't tell if it's the cheese from the pizza I had for lunch, the flu, a stomach virus, general stress and anxiety about my life, some other life-threatening disease (because of course it has to be a life-threatening one), or really bad indigestion. I have a feeling it's the latter because I kind of feel like if I just take a really really awesome poo, I'll feel muuuuch better.

***

Christmas was nice this year. It's not that big a deal for our family, now that we're all grown up. I buy all the presents for Omma, Appa, Gran and Cheech, and Cheech sometimes pays me back for his share. Everyone almost always knows what they're getting. Sometimes there's a small, full, but fake Christmas tree; sometimes we're too busy to get it out of the box and put it up. But the best part, really, is the awesome home-cooking we get to devour for about two and a half days straight, eating full meals approximately every 1.5 hours. That, and not showering all day, sitting in the same sweats and watching all manner of good and bad television while dozing in and out of consciousness. Oh yeah. You totally have to have Christmas at my house.

***

I can't believe the year is drawing to a close. It's gone by too quickly. I'm not just saying that ... it really has. So much has changed, but ... so much hasn't. How strange. My only fear is that 2005 will be more of the same. Sameness is so ... boring.

***

Despite the fact that I'm totally disgustingly nauseous right now, I'm watching "After Midnight: New Orleans" on The Food Network at this moment, observing Cafe du Monde and other cafes fry enormous amounts of beignets in humongous vats of oil. OH YUM YUM YUM YUM. LOL, remember our beignets at Cafe du Monde? Ohhhhhh, to have a beignet and a cafe au lait right about now ... YUM YUM YUM.

***

Omma said an interesting thing to me the other day: she said I'm the type of girl to meet a man, date him, fall in love, then approach the eve of engagement in a very short time because I know so well now what I want, need, require in a husband and a lifelong love. Then I'll bring him home to Omma and Appa, and they'll be like "when the heck did THIS happen?!?!?!" I think she's right. I've always wanted to be with someone for, like, eight years before getting married, kind of like my parents were. But they had too much drama in those eight years. Who needs that when I make my own drama plenty well all by myself? Nah ... instead, I see so many "success" stories around me, couples who dated for a short while, mere months even, before deciding "this is the one for me" and taking the plunge. They live now so happily -- not perfectly, but happily -- and faithfully and lovingly. Yeah, that could be me ... Besides, my parents are too nosy to involve them any earlier than engagement anyway.

***

TinyCricket is already busting my chops, but here's my Friday Favorites two days late:

What is your favorite Christmas memory? Like I said, Christmas was never all that big a deal for our family, although I always loved, loved, LOVED the new books I got and would often want to just go to my room to start reading them, forgetting about the presents that other people had to open or the Christmas breakfast that had to be eaten. Some years, we'd get together with Caro and her family, and then it would just be mayhem, with the kids singing for their gifts, running around someone's basement involved in some intense child's game, stopping by our parents' dining room chairs to grab quick bites of dinner. One of my favorite photos from Christmas is a picture with Cheech and I sitting on Appa's lap in our old house, in front of our tall fake tree that was so prettily decorated. Appa is so young-looking; no white hairs, no belly, no tired face. Cheech and I couldn't have been more than 4 and 9 years old, respectively, and we are holding our gifts to our chest, giggling at Appa's tickling fingers. That picture always tugs at my heart a bit ...

***

Given the disgusting burps emitting from me tonight, I'm going to have to go with indigestion. Ew. But does indigestion come with fever and chills? I mean, how bad does your indigestion have to be to cause fever and chills?!

***

Over 11,000 people dead in South and Southeast Asia from the fourth largest earthquake in the world since 1900, and the resulting tsunamis. Sigh. 11,000 people, gone in one fell swoop. How can the human mind even begin to comprehend such an event, such a loss? How can this be? How, how, how?

Talk of this brought a lull to our dinner table tonight; I started to put down my spoon, overcome with sadness and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. Then, Appa put it best as he stated solemnly, shaking his head, "We are fortunate."

Indeed.