ICK ICK ICK! . . .

With C.o.S. newly added to my iChat buddy list, we commenced our first Mac-to-Mac conversation. I love technology. (But not as much as you, you see. But I still love technology. Always and forever. Always and forever.)

Had we had this powerful resource at our fingertips in the late 90's, our pageant-watching experience would have been SO different (and MUCH less expensive). And had we both the patience and time to watch the Miss USA Pageant tonight, iChat would be our long-distance connection of choice. However, in our many years of pageant-spectating, we have learned one very valuable lesson: it just ain't the same without those nutty South Americans and their big hair. With no Miss Venezuela, Miss Argentina or Miss Ecuador, there is just no reason whatsoevah to watch a beauty pageant.

All these wannabe Miss USA's are so ... the same. They are all equally frighteningly teensy, their shoulder bones jutting forth and daring to stab you in the eyeball. They all have the same length hair, and all their hair is FLAT, even for the African-American women. Oh wait, Miss Texas has a bit of southern pouf going on. But her fake teeth are blinding me. They all LOOK alike, and thus, there is no drama, no flair, nothing interesting at all about Miss USA 2005.

Sigh. I'm going to have to sit this one out and finish the book I'm reading. Sorry, C.o.S.. Sorry, L.O.L.'s. You'll be getting no pageant commentary from me this year, not tonight anyway.

(But before I go, let me add one -- no, two -- things: (1) fluorescent yellow satin looks good on no one, Miss California; and (2) a bikini top paired with a skirt does not an evening gown make, Miss Pennsylvania. Okay, a third thing: I'm glad the lady with the boobs so pushed up her chin rests on them didn't make it into the top ten. She kind of scared me.)

And now, I'm off to attempt to be a little more edifying.