BEFORE SLEEP . . .

I can't sleep. I've been up since 7:45 a.m., had an intense hour-long workout, ate mostly balanced meals, drank no coffee, had only one mugful of English Breakfast tea, powered my way through a four-hour worship team rehearsal and two-hour-long praise night. I am tired, and my eyes are droopy, and my body is weary, but my brain, my thoughts, my heart -- they are all in overdrive, and I cannot rest. Dang, the worst part is that I don't even want to step into the bedroom to lay down and let my body sink. I don't even want to be there anymore.

And so, I resort to another list. I realize these are unoriginal things. I realize I am not creating anything of any value by perpetuating these lists. I realize they are senseless, self-indulgent, silly. But maybe the mundaneness of thinking of myself and realizing exactly how unremarkable and boring I am will lull me to sleep ...

5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1. Smart Food White Cheddar Cheese popcorn
2. Lays plain potato chips ... dipped in ketchup
3. rugelach from Whole Foods Market
4. baby carrots dipped in just about anything that baby carrots are supposed to be dipped in
5. bite-sized fruit: grapes, canteloupe cubes, strawberries

5 Songs I Know All the Words To:
1. We Fall Down
2. The Star-Spangled Banner
3. Still
4. In Christ Alone
5. Sleeping to Dream

5 Places I Would Run Away To:
1. Block Island
2. Ha's place in L.A.
3. Red Mountain Spa
4. Banff (alright, I've never actually been there, but I imagine that once I go, I will want to run away to there often)
5. Tranquility Spa with Mabel

5 Things I Would Never Wear:
1. fur
2. something completely yellow
3. animal prints
4. puffy sleeves
5. non-baseball-cap hats, not because I don't want to, but because I always look like a 12-year-old wanna-be poseur in them

5 Favorite TV Shows:
1. "Lost" (for the record, Hooch and I were on the bandwagon before anyone else was. Heck, we started the engine!)
2. "The Ellen Degeneres Show" (dude, she's just fun and her guests like her)
3. "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" (in reruns, but still remarkable and occasionally hysterically hilarious)
4. "Will & Grace" (Jack and Karen are the best characters on television in a long, long time)
5. "Exteme Makeover: Home Edition" (why yes, I do have "sucker" written all over my forehead)

5 Bad Habits:
1. picking my lower lip until it bleeds
2. talking, bopping, dancing, swaying to and with myself ... in public ... when there are other people around
3. speaking before I think
4. jumping to conclusions about everything
5. keeping myself busy when I just don't need to be

5 Biggest Joys:
1. Jesus
2. my family and friends
3. New Hope Fellowship
4. my hobbies: reading, cooking, organizing
5. the special moments: camp, Starbucks, walking, napping

5 Favorite Toys:
1. Bob
2. Herb
3. my mom's digital camera
4. the Buh-Bo cards
5. newborn babies: I can move them around and make them "talk" and basically do whatever I want them to do, except when they flop over because they can't hold their heads up yet

5 Fictional Characters I Would Date:
1. Mr. Darcy, from Pride and Prejudice (the book, and alright, you can throw in Colin Firth, too)
2. Sawyer, from "Lost"
3. Almanzo Wilder, from Little House on the Prairie (the book series, not the television show)
4. Mr. Knightley, from Emma (the book, but I'm not turning Jeremy Northam away!)
5. Vaughn, from "Alias"

10 Years Ago, I was experiencing: true friendship, a budding romance, a strong Christian fellowship, Schapiro 12, senioritis, career angst, constant hilarity, anxiety about impending adulthood, sisterhood.

5 Years Ago, I was experiencing: 3L-itis, another budding romance, assistant-director angst, torture at the lashing tongue of my favorite law school professor, another brutal Boston late-autumn, homesickness, career angst.

1 Year Ago, I was experiencing: the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, the stirrings of a new and true friendship, being on the verge of a new beginning, career satisfaction, my first winter in my own home.