THIS IS ONLY A TEST . . .

Tests of character crop up in the most unusual places. Having to offer patience in a demanding situation ... exhibiting forbearance towards a particularly annoying person ... feeling compassion for someone less fortunate or more hurting ... these are tests I can see coming and can prepare myself for. I can take the time to examine myself, the motives behind my (hopefully good) behaviours, and make sure that I tap into the best parts of myself to give to others.

But what does one do, what is the morally correct thing to do, in a situation where I merely have to choose between two social events?

One, is a wedding I should attend. An acquaintance from my college days turned team co-leader at NHF is having a small, intimate church ceremony this weekend. SMALL and INTIMATE. Which means the fact that I was invited alone means I should attend if at all possible. And yes, it is possible for me. A church full of people I don't know, an evening of schmoozing and being on my best behavior with a kind smile frozen on my face as I meet new folks, a long drive into an area that gets me lost every time. But, I confess ... I don't particularly have the greatest of urges to go (she says in a meek, chagrined whisper).

Second, is a fun night of madcap hilarity and bonding with my closest and dearest that I want to attend. Most of my girls and a new girl and a new guy and two hilariously precocious kids and a Scrabble board except we don't use the board. Night-long munchies, perhaps some wine, and definitely good, fun, deep, satisfying conversation with people who already know my soul and to whom I need present no walls, no barriers, no pretensions; they accept me for who I am and love me anyway. I confess ... I really want to go here.

BUT.

BUT.

BUT.

I already responded affirmatively to the first. And I should, I really should, attend the wedding. I have to. It just wouldn't be right if I didn't, not after the invitation has been so kindly extended to me. I could say he won't miss me ... but he will, and then I'd feel badly.

So. I know the right thing to do. I know how to most clearly show the best of my character. Expressing my real inclinations aloud hasn't changed what I know is right. Sigh.

(On the other hand ... I get to dress up and look pretty. I hope.)