ALL I'M ASKING FOR IS A LITTLE . . .

Relief.

Mercy.

Hope.

Sleep.

Food.

C'mon, God. Throw me a bone.

***

I don't only ask these things of others, not all the time, anyway. I also ask them of myself. I am learning more and more of who I am. I am mean. I am merciless. I always want to be right. In wanting to always be right, I want others to always say that they're wrong. Even when they're not. I'm incapable of saying "I'm sorry." I'm immature and stubborn. I am manipulative. I don't deserve kindness or compassion, but ask for it all the time. I am hard-hearted and hard-shelled. I then wonder why people can't see the softness in me, if there even is any softness. I want it all. I rarely give anything. I'm controlling. I'm suspicious. I'm angry. I'm jealous. I think that everyone else sucks. But the reality is ...

I suck.

Never has the cross of Christ seemed further away.