Wednesday, August 22

SO TRUE . . .

The more I think about it, the more I am sure that Mrs.G is totally correct: it's a shame that I will be experiencing something really neat, something that could edify and bless people around me, something that will be thrilling to me and will make me so happy, and something that folks around me could and should completely support and pray for me about ... and I can't and won't share about it with anyone but the select three who know because of the prospect of gossip and undercurrents that would cast my excellent experience in the most negative and sordid of lights.

That stinks.

(By the way, Mrs.G is so nice and she does good math, unlike me. This is her latest theorem, as yet unproven, but hopeful nonetheless: MC Estoppel+even more knowledge=powerhouse for God)


You know what else stinks? Decision-making stinks. Especially the "either way you play it, you just can't win" decision-making.

I have to choose between two things I love. Well, more accurately, on the one side is something I have only recently come to love dearly, but which cost me a great deal to learn to love. So much effort and agony went into growing this love, that honestly, it just seems like a waste to walk away from it now, even for just a short time. And on the other side is something I haven't yet experienced but am SURE that I will love. So much prayer and excitement went into pursuing this love, that it just seems like it was meant to be and I dare not walk away from it at all.

And lying right in the middle is a third choice. Not a bad choice, but a second choice, nonetheless. I might seriously regret choosing Door Number 3, or I might think it was the wisest, most profitable compromise I've ever made. Might, might, might. What a cursed word.

This stinks, this stinks, this stinks.

(But all this complaining immediately makes me sick of myself complaining: after all, don't I have some great options in front of me? Whatever I choose, I am edified. Whatever I choose, I am supported. Whatever I choose will be temporary but enriching. Whatever I choose will be turned by God for His glory. So maybe it doesn't stink after all. It's just a little bit difficult.)

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