FIRST THINGS FIRST . . .

Okay, I'd like to apologize to everyone for my vehement anger of earlier this morning. My rant, my rave, my rage, my bloody fury. I apologize. Bill Frist and his cohorts still astound me. All of the Congress astounds me, actually, and I wonder if government has always been corrupt and twisted. Probably. We're mere humans, after all. But I was doing my own share of name-calling, and that was not nice OR proper OR mature, so I'm sorry. I still strongly disagree, and feel strongly disappointed, and strongly disturbed about so many things. But I'm still sorry. The Scorpion's tail swung out too soon.

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SCHNICKETY-SCHNACK . . .

Ems came up with the term first. I adopted it, and my boyfriend in law school hated it whenever I said it. Schnickety-schnack. Sometimes, that's the only way to describe exactly what your taste buds are craving.

What is your favorite…

1. …Bedtime Snack? I don't really eat before bedtime. This doesn't count as a snack, and I'm going to get lots of "booooo!" and "hissss!" and "you utter nerd" for this, but I'll say it anyway: water. (Oh wait. On retreats, I always have spicy cup ramen before bedtime. You just can't stay up until 3 a.m. with a gaggle of friends and NOT have spicy cup ramen that makes your intestines protest all throughout the night.)

2. …Broken Heart Snack? This is not a snack either, but everytime my heart has been broken, I have had the good fortune of living in my parents' home. And whenever I am home, there is a big vat of kimchi jigae constantly simmering on the rangetop. Accordingly, I was oft found comforting myself and soothing my innards with a small bowl of spicy, hot, soul-cleansing (and brain-exploding) Korean comfort food. The next heartbreak, I fear, lurks around the corner ... and I might just have to pack up for a few days and be homeward bound ...

3. …Healthy Snack? I love carrots. Carrot sticks. Baby carrots. Whole carrots chewed to pieces bit by bit. I also love water. Room-temperature water. Put the two together and I am utterly refreshed. (Did I ever tell you about the time in high school that I ate carrots all day every day for about two months and my extremities started turning orange? True story.)

4. …Unhealthy Snack? Potato chips. Salty, greasy, crunchy potato chips. Dipped in ketchup.

5. …Snack Obsession? (the snack that you tell no one you like) What? This is a weird question. There is no such thing in my life. If I like it, I eat it, and I tell people about it.

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HEADS OR TAILS . . .

Change hurts. Good change hurts; bad change just happens to hurt more. Transition is hard. Adjustments are difficult. I'm getting old and set in my ways. I'm becoming more specific with my needs and wants. My desires are coming into focus. My goals seem finally reachable ... but the whole process of walking the path is so ... dangerous.

Land mines are everywhere. Friendships become more complicated. Family becomes more demanding. Lovers leave and circumstances change. Time becomes more precious, but less available. What is one to do? How does anyone get through life, one big fat changing change? How have generations of humans survived flux?

It's a wonder to me, really.

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THE GENTLE HEALER . . .

My boob hurts. My back aches. My temples throb. My joints are sore. My thirst is unquenchable. My sinuses are swollen. My heart breaks. My worries abound. My prayers seem feeble. My jaw clenches. My eye twitches and stings. My eyebrows furrow. My neck tenses.

Lord, heal me.

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TO BE HEALED . . .

Is to spend good times with good friends celebrating good things in life. And good babies.

La Melon turns one. I ran out of cute wrapping paper, and am shamed by the surface of my paltry offering. Hopefully, the family won't notice and La Melon will adore what's inside.

But oh, how I crave the company of those whom I love and who love me in return. How I seek the comfort of welcoming hugs and running jokes and knowing giggles and hearty guffaws and commiserating stories and unbelievable tall tales.

I can't wait for Canada.

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LET YOUR MERCIES FALL FROM HEAVEN . . .

Seeking His protection over a Floridian vacation for two ... May 2nd ... nannies ... second trimesters ... a job interview ... a precious grandmother ... a beloved mother ... trusting hearts ... weekend celebrations.