STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR . . .

I don't even know what the hell it is I'm looking for!

Watching the whole first season of "Lost" over again is not good for my mental health, but like most things that are bad for me, I just can't get enough. And so it was that I had lunch with Hooch this afternoon and all we talked about was the second season of the show, and I swear by all that is right and true and just in the world of television viewing, J.J. Abrams, if you tie the show into the last season of "Alias," I am going to have serious anger-management issues with you, and there is going to be serious letter-writing happening.

***

BUILD ME . . .

Sometimes, with some things, on some issues, someone has to tell me over and over and over again to believe them. And it still takes me a long time. And then they usually give up and move on because the wall is too insurmountable. But some keep at it, until I am blissfully worn down, and I have no choice to believe and accept and be loved. And I imagine that if this person were sitting next to me right now, as s/he has been this entire time actually and in the most wonderfully unexpected forms, s/he would say to me ...

I think it's getting to the point
where I can be myself again;
I think it's getting to the point
where we have almost made amends;
I think it's the getting to the point
that is the hardest part.

And if you call, I will answer;
and if you fall, I'll pick you up;
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home.

You think I only think about you
when we're both in the same room;
You think I'm only here to witness
the remains of love exhumed;
You think we're here to play
a game of who loves more than whom.

And if you call, I will answer;
and if you fall, I'll pick you up;
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home.

You think it's only fair to do what's
best for you and you alone;
You think it's only fair to do the same
to me when you're not home;
I think it's time to make this something that is
more than only fair.

So if you call, I will answer;
and if you fall, I'll pick you up;
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home.

But I'm warning you, don't ever do
those crazy, messed up things that you do
If you ever do, I promise you
I'll be the first to crucify you
Now it's time to prove that you've come back
To rebuild.

"Call and Answer,"
Barenaked Ladies