POO ON YOU . . .

Screw you, betrayers and gossip-mongers. As long as the world turns, there will always be people like you: people who jump to conclusions, people who make up stories in their own heads, people who always want to be in the know even about things that have nothing to do with them, people who would perpetuate gossip for their own pleasure and game, people who feel no qualms about putting others on the spot and making them uncomfortable, people who have such little lives that they must live the lives of others along with them, people whose curiosity will kill them. But you know what? Screw you. I can't get rid of you, so I might as well co-exist with you. And frankly, all of these above qualities ... ultimately, they make you deserving of my pity, not my anger.

'Sides. I gots me things to say.

(And a BIG FAT HIGH-FIVE to all you who encouraged me and kicked me in the butt to keep writing. Rock on.)

***

THANKFULNESS . . .

It has been a long, loooong week. FOR THE SAKE OF PROTECTING OTHERS -- gosh, I hate having to do this -- I won't go into details, but suffice to say ... I am damn exhausted.

A lot of my securities were shaken this week, some shallow, some very deeply-rooted. Am I attractive? Am I smart? Am I a productive member of society? Am I a good friend? Am I loved? Do I love sufficiently and care-fully? Do I have a future? Will I ever get married? What will my next job be? When will my next job be? Where is all my money going? Do I give generously and selflessly of myself? How can I protect those I love? The questions went on and on without end.

A lot of my securities were rebuilt this week. Thank you, friends and loved ones, for your emails, your hugs, your blog comments, your company, your understanding looks, your prayers, your hugs, your trust and reassurances, your proving to me everything I needed proof of.

Tonight was singular. I feel like I was in the company of Jesus, manifest in the bodies of my friends. Relaxing with them, eating with them, providing bad Olympics commentary with them (no, we'll never get hired by NBC, will we?) ... in all of these things, I felt heavy and warm the presence of God, His comfort, His friendship, His love, His fire that melts even the coldest of brick walls. I then spent some time praying with a friend about the upcoming retreat for NHF's men ... what an amazing brotherhood they are, to me, and hopefully, increasingly, to each other. I am almost as excited for this retreat as I was for our own. There is nothing like ending an evening in prayer, for where two or more are gathered ...

I approach the end of my week with thankfulness being heaviest on my heart. I am still tired, I am still worn down, I have long roads to travel in healing and restoration, I still have much to continue to lay at His feet, I have much security to still receive and believe. But mostly, I am thankful.