BETTER . . .

In seven hours I have to meet Mrs. G so that we can head into Manhattan for the Revlon 5k Run/Walk. Given the hour now, and the hour I think it will be before I can actually lay my head down and close my eyes for real, I expect I'll be sleepy in the morn.

Recovery is slow -- what dastardly cold is this? But I like taking care of sick people. Aside from the danger of contracting the sickness in turn, there is gratification in seeing someone feeling more energized after eating a meal you have prepared, feeling less ill after taking a cold tablet you recommended, feeling less congested after swallowing the cough syrup you've spooned into their mouth, feeling rested from companionship and understanding if not from actual sleep.

During a rare and much-needed nap recently, I had a dream that I prayed for recovery, hands outstretched as if a prophetess. Not too far from the truth, actually.

***

STRETCHED . . .

I don't have a job to go to during the day, so why do I feel so stretched? I feel like I"ve spent the last two weeks in some strange state of torn-ness. I have been torn between commitments, events, people, friendships, even mundane things like dinner choices. This has resulted in me feeling constantly tense. Not quite snippy and on-edge, but close. REAL close.

I've seen this in others too. There's just so much going on: business trips, weddings, volunteer events, social events, church events, friends leaving, friends arriving, doctors' appointments, work commitments, school assignments, family obligations. We all have become rubber bands pulled at both ends. It just remains to be seen, which end lets go first.

I didn't think it would matter, being unemployed at all, but it does, still. I can't wait for summer to come. I don't think my schedule -- amazingly busy as it is -- will change. But my mindset will. I'll slow down, I'll have perspective, I'll slacken my rubber band. I can't wait.

***

FRESH AIR . . .

Tomorrow morning. I long for it.