I AM RIDICULOUS . . .

In case you didn't know, I am utterly and completely ridiculous.

Those who know me well know that I think a lot. But they also know that this thinking is not always productive or helpful, to myself, largely. For me, thinking goes down two avenues. One avenue is encouraging, thoughtful, productive, analytical, problem-solving, curious, absorbing, engendering care and imagination and resolutions and innovations. The other avenue just leads to worry and anxiety. 99.9% of the time, the worry and anxiety is either unwarranted or totally misplaced. And of course, worry and anxiety get me to nowhere but sleeplessness.

This morning, one small, tiny, miniscule bit of information was revealed to me that slapped me in the face with a big sign that read: "YOU DID ALL THAT FRETTING AND HEMMING AND HAWING AND HEART-ACHING FOR NUTHIN', LADY. AGAIN."

I was so sheepish, but I couldn't even confess my sheepishness because that just would have made me look even more ridiculous than I already know I am. All I could do was sort of smile to myself, inwardly, shake my head at myself, and finally, just give thanks to God for being so gentle with my already-fragile heart. He knew exactly what I needed to hear from this person to feel at ease and to not spend the next several days fretting. And as always, He provides what I need.

Thank goodness God is God. Because me ... I'm just ridiculous.

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GOD IS GOD . . .

We started new Bible study material last night. One of the first questions asked: how did you view and know God as a child, and how has that knowledge or view changed, grown, reversed over the years?

Such a mind-blowing question. In twenty-one years of being a Christian, I have never once stopped to think about how my view and knowledge of God, my understanding of Him, has shifted or not shifted, grown or shrunk, turned 90-, 180-, 270-, 360-degrees. Even had I wanted to be one of the people answering the question aloud, I don't think I could have formulated a coherent response.

Talking to Boboma after everyone had left, it was easier to unleash my replies to the question. But even then, the fact that my answer went on and on and on, and circled back on itself, then turned around again, was mind-blowing. There just is no end to the vastness and multi-facetedness of God; thankfully, neither is there an end to my ability or desire to know more and more of Him, to question Him, to peer into Him, and to have Himself continue to describe, reveal and show Himself to me. And eventually, the twain shall meet.